Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Silver Linings. . . and that time I found one when I was puking

When Sunday morning came, it found me curled into a little ball on the bed, moaning and groaning and basically acting like life as I knew it was over.  I was clutching the puke bowl, probably drenched in sweat, and most likely a bit smelly.

Let's just say I don't handle being sick well.

Okay, mostly I don't handle throwing up very well.

I feel like my kids have had a stomach bug ALOT this past year.  I'm assuming it's because JJ  has been in school.  

School.  All those germs.  All those snotty little kids coughing and sneezing and wiping their slobbery germs all over the classroom.

Blast you school.

I've been able to dodge the stomach bug, so far, up until the wee hours of this past Sunday morning.  But then I got hit with the pukes.  I got hit hard.

And I'm a wuss, and I hate it, and it made me think maybe I will never be able to be pregnant again because I hate throwing up so so so so much.  It's the one sickness I would wish upon the kids over myself.  I think that might make me a terrible mother.  And I don't even care. 


If you look hard enough, you can find some silver lining in every situation.  Right?  Isn't that what positive thinkers and the glass is half full people would say?

I am not usually a positive person.  And mostly my glass is half empty.  But-- as I curled myself into the fetal position, feeling like death-- I could hear something wonderful happening in our house.

First, let me explain that Sunday mornings are hard around our house.  We attend church at 10:00.  Brice (The husband.  The dad.  My main man.) has to be there early for an assortment of meetings.  So he's gone by 8:00. 

Which means I spend the hours between 8 and 10 fighting with three little kids.  Three little kids who turn into rabid mini demons as soon as their dad walks out the front door.  I think they must have a personal goal to see how crazy they can make me before we get to church.  They're pretty good at it.  They like to see how contorted my face can become, and how loud I can hiss through clenched teeth.  I think their actual goal is to break me to a blubbering mess.  It's possible they've accomplished that a time or two.

Their dad wonders why I always arrive at church with smoke blowing out of my ears, and the basic impression of TALK-TO-ME-AND-DIE radiating from my presence. 

But I digress.

Back to the something wonderful that began to play out before my very sick ears. 

It sounded a little something like this.


A cereal bowl clattering to the floor.

Screams.  Crying.  Fighting.  One brother smacking the other brother.  One little girl screeching.

"What should I put on the boys?"

A head under the pillow muffled response of "whatever you want.  I don't care".



Screams.  Crying.  Feet stomping.  One brother smacking the other brother again.  Empty threats.  One little girl screeching.

"What should I put on Little Miss?"

A head under the pillow muffled response of "whatever you want, I don't care".

Little girl screeching.  More screeching.

"Stop rolling.  Just- quit it- leave it- arrrrrrrrgh.  She won't sit still.  These tights are too small.  What do I do with this underwear looking stuff?  Does this go on first or what?"

"WHY are you wiping TOOTHPASTE on your shirt?"

"What happened to your tie?"

"Dad, I have to go poop."

"Okay, I'm doooooooone."

Nonstop little girl screeching.

I think you probably get the idea.  By the time the dad had those kids all dressed, ready, and out the door, he was pretty much on the verge of boiling over.

Maybe he boiled over in the car when The Cam pulled his usual, "I have to pee so much" as soon as they left the house.  

I suppose I could have asked about it later.  But I didn't.  Because they were gone. Because they left. And the house was quiet and still.  And it was just me and my puke bowl.  She and I lay there, cuddled and cozy, for the rest of the day, drifting in and out of a somewhat blissful sleep.  

I might have even had a smile on my face.

  Because in that moment, I was a glass is half full kinda girl.   

And I imagine it will be a long time before Brice asks me again why I'm so grumpy on Sunday mornings.

Silver linings.  They show up when you least expect them.

And now, on that note, I thought I would share with you some things that I've found helpful with pukers.  We've had a lot of pukers this school year.  If you have school aged children, this list is probably second nature to you.  But if you're just starting out with your little ones, you will definitely want to keep these ideas in mind.  They can help salvage your sanity.

Be sure to pin this.  So when it's time to pass the puke bowl around your family, all your towels will be ready.

Now we want to hear from you!  What else would you add to this list?  What are some silver linings you've seen pop up when you least expect them?  And what do you do when you're sick?  Share with us!